What You Seek is Seeking You

This summer has been the summer of surprises. This spring I had a feeling the summer would be full of new experiences and fresh approaches, but I had no idea how they would manifest in my life. I spent a lot of time in Bali focusing on allowing myself to be more open to life, and not just in my hips (my psoas muscle is so open right now thanks to the yoga I’ve been indulging in!). I knew I wanted to make a difference, I knew I wanted a focus for my life other than getting the bills paid and satisfying society.
Being open to change and allowing experiences to adjust our opinions can be challenging. I have a theory that people resist change sometimes because if they change their habits, they feel like perhaps they’re admitting they were wrong all along. Maybe this is true, maybe not. But I know that sometimes I will try to pretend my mind isn’t being changed because I feel like it means all along I’ve been wrong. And, of course, I can never be wrong.
Except that I am. All the time. And I will be for the next, oh, 60 years. And that’s the beauty of life. I’m trying to learn to embrace being wrong.
Because once I opened myself to the possibility of being wrong, amazing things started happening.
Turns out I don’t hate kids. Turns out I just don’t want one of my own. But it turns out, I absolutely freaking love teaching them. The first kids camp I got to work I went into somewhat grumpily. By the end of the week, I’d realized these little humans were incredible. They were resilient, excited to learn, and open to change. They craved fresh perspectives and new ideas. I saw opportunity to change lives. And if there’s one thing I love most in the world its changing lives.
Last week I got to work with a group of Girl Scouts. These girls absolutely blew me away. Their leaders said they had started the week out as “girly girls”, but the girls I got to interact with were anything but! Despite some anxiety producing fear of water, they charged ahead. At the beginning I could sense some feelings of being unsure, but at the end they were upset to be done. Their openness to the new experience was inspiring and encouraging.
Maybe I just need to keep trying to be a child. Kids don’t have the fear of being wrong quiet yet. They are so open to new ideas and opinions and experiences that they end up with pretty incredible adventures. We only have 80 or so years on this earth, why should only 18 years be full of adventures? Why not all 80?

One thought on “What You Seek is Seeking You

  1. Right on, Annabell! You have great insight for a woman of your young years! I love this thoughtful and introspective post. I never realized why I don’t like changing my mindset…what if I was wrong all this time? You and Rachel were absolutely fabulous with our Girl Scouts. You saw that change in one day’s time. Amazing! You have a gift for teaching people to play outside and live life to the fullest. Even the adults were changed by the experience! Keep going! You are crushing it!

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